đ The Weekly Vibe: week of June 16-22
Emotions are a tad heightened this week, thanks to so many planets hanging out in water signs, including the Sun, which just moved into Cancer, officially marking it Cancer season. Try to channel your energy where emotional atonement is needed (playing with intuition, creativity, heart-to-heart conversations, rest) but if you find yourself uncontrollably weeping anyway, you know why.
Despite this sensitivity, we might be experiencing some fear of vulnerability (the Sun and Neptune are at odds for a few days) or disconnect. Treat your loved ones, and especially yourself, with gentle care.
I have a confession: I was dreading sitting down to write todayâs letter.
As with any creative project, I started this Substack feeling on fire, beaming with ideas, writing the first few posts, and feeling on a roll, only to be rudely awakened by the natural progression of any creative project.
At some point, one or another, completely unavoidable - momentum slows down. The list of initial ideas runs dry, the novelty of opening a blank page turns mundane, and the schedule fills up with other junk, leaving little space for the creativity we crave. The lofty goal of writing a weekly issue, once a fun challenge, started to feel like a nagging to-do list item, making me feel like a failure.
What began as an experiment and a channel for processing life's teachings, in hopes of supporting and intriguing others, had somehow morphed into a pressure to always have something profound to say. The irony was not lost on me.
âNobody would notice if I skipped a week,â I whispered. But I knew that skipping one week could easily turn into two, or maybe forever. Plus, deep down, I didn't want to quit; I just wanted to have an easier time with the process.
I know, in fact, everybody knows, the best ideas emerge when we let ourselves loose to throw spaghetti at the wall. Why did I stop doing that? Why do so many of us get hung up on the destination, rather than enjoying the journey?
Sure, my natal chart offers some clues: with a fifth house in Capricorn, hobbies are always taken seriously. Plus, the transiting Saturn is currently moving through my natal Sun and Mercury, casting a grimmer shadow than usual. While there are both innate and temporary reasons for this struggle with creativity, they are things to be aware of, not forces to surrender my agency to.
As I sat scratching off one idea after another for this weekâs issue, it dawned on me I should just write about the experience of it - the sad ride downhill when we take out the joy of imperfection. Yet as I sat down to write, the doubts resurfaced: Does this make sense? How could this possibly be valuable?
The truth is, I don't have a profound revelation about creativity for you here. I can't be sure if this is valuable, but I know I'm not alone in experiencing these doubts when pursuing a creative endeavor or something truly important.
What I do know is that the experience of coming down from a high is completely normal and will resurface time and again, whether in relation to this newsletter or anything else that requires consistency. There's no magic potion to skip the uncomfortable parts; there's only the choice to stay simmering in it or take action to move past it.
So, here I am, looking discomfort in the eye and choosing to get some words on the page. They don't need to be profound.
In the words of the wise Liz Gilbert:
Be the weirdo who dares to enjoy.
This letter started as a struggle, but by the end of it I can say I am enjoying it. Does it make sense? Is it valuable? Still no idea. Iâm just glad to have it out of the way making room for something more.
How Might I Support You?
Whether you're navigating a creative project, a career transition, or a personal goal, understanding your astrological influences can make all the difference in your journey. Letâs dive deep into your chart for some natural strategies.
We all face moments of doubt, resistance, and the dreaded slowdown of momentum, but they donât have to be a constant. It would be my joy to support you through whatever is causing you a discomfort.
đ On a Lighter Note
đ For an added pep-talk (although, truly, so much more than that), check out The Perfectionistâs Guide to Losing Control by therapist Katherine Morgan Schafler. I am very picky when it comes to the âself-helpâ genre but I really connected with this one.
đȘ On a note of consistency, Iâve switched my workouts to Evlo and havenât missed a day on their 5x/week track for the past three weeks. The reason? Their gentle consistency philosophy. Theyâre science-based muscle-building classes taught by doctors of physical therapy and I am really appreciating the complete absence of âno pain, no gainâ messaging while they still kick your butt.
Not Retrograde is a newsletter about the beauty and complexities of life on Earth, from an astrological perspective. Questions or topics youâd like to see covered in the future? Hit reply to reach me directly.
That Liz Gilbert quote is too good and I would say every other day Iâm confronted with the part of me who really does enjoy and the part that has learned thatâs weird/cringe.
So glad you wrote about the process while still in process. There is so much just in that. Sometimes when Iâm feeling lost or stuck, I start right there, tooââIâm feeling stuckâ and then typically Iâm not so stuck anymore.